BUSY BUSY GIRL

I'm not sure to name this post trouble or trying to be a big kid, because Kamri's day was filled with both.

My parents are in town so I was trying to get some work done in the morning before they showed up to take us to the Natural History Museum. While Kamri and Hayes were in the room next to me 'watching a movie' Kamri apparently decided today was the day she was going to grow up.
Her first step in deciding to grow up was to get rid of diapers. She took off her diaper and pooped on the floor. Oh but no worries she remedied it by going to the toilet right after to wipe with a sufficient amount of toilet paper to do the job four times over but not quite enough for her to actually do anything productive but maybe clog the toilet.
I was made aware of the situation by Hayes telling me that Kamri was getting close to the "brown stuff." Initially I wasn't sure what "brown stuff" meant but I knew it couldn't be good.
I hurried and cleaned it up before anyone else could get close to the "brown stuff" and went back to work.

I must have been really optimistic that Kamri's movie watching would continue when it hadn't started in the first place.

Her second try in growing up was to do a chore little kids are not usually involved in. I started going back to work when I heard Kamri start to yell. I ran into the bedroom and she had taken the Tupperware box that the toys were in, turned it upside down and used it as a stool to get the paint on the bathroom counter. (My parents helped me start painting the bathroom the night before) The Tupperware box was slipping so I got her down thinking I had caught her before she had done any damage. But oh no, she was headed back to the paint bucket to dip her paintbrush back in. Luckily the bucket was empty but she had just used a not quite dry paint sponge to paint our bedroom walls white in three places.

All this before 10 a.m.

My parents showed up at ten and we took off for the Natural History Museum which was great. I'll post up some pictures soon. Kamri did not get into anymore trouble in the afternoon but now that I think about it she was either at the museum, of course trying walk the whole time and saying all the animal names. (How adult of her, you might say ;)) or she was taking a nap. So not too much trouble to be had.

We went out to eat and she wants to use the big cup & straw by herself and spilled her milk. Not too bad..

She topped off the night with wanting to sleep in the toddler bed my dad helped set up today. Great! Something grown up she can do that isn't trouble. I tucked her in bed with some books and she looked at them for a little bit and got up to switch books. I tucker her back in bed and we repeated this a few times. Then I got back to painting, Bracken was studying and I figured we'd hear her if she got out of bed again, right?

I'm mid paint stroke when I hear a screeching cry. I book it into her bedroom and she isn't there!? She hadn't fallen out of the bed like I imagined. I realize the cry is coming from the bathroom next to her room. I run in and there are her pants on the floor. She's sitting in the toilet. Not ON but IN! Apparently she decided she'd try one last time at being grown up for the night. Her only problem was she had not only put up the lid but the seat. So she was sitting in water up to her chest and down to her knees. Holding on to the side of the bowl. Poor girl was traumatized. (who wouldn't be...sitting in a toilet? Gross!)

So a bath, clean pajamas, a rocking to sleep, and back in bed.

Her baby crib.

We'll save the big girl day for another day...

Sand Park!

We are lucky to have a park right around the corner from our house. It has your usual park slides and swings but it also has a volleyball sand court/pit. Both of my kids love to play in the sand, but the past few weeks Kamri has developed an obsession with it. After breakfast her little voice pipes up, SAND PARK! When i convince her we have to get dressed first or it's too cold she's quieted but usually only for a little while. She asks to go to the sand park at least four different times a day. If we ever go to get in the car, she runs to her bike--Sand park?! Sand Park!! Then Hayes joins in on the begging. When I do announce that we are finally, actually going, Kamri bursts into this Sand Park chant. I love it. Just hearing it makes me want to go to the sand park.

We get on our sunglasses...(even if we don't need them)

Kamri starts on her bike...

but ends up running or in the stroller because it's faster!

And Hayes is always way ahead of us. Speedy little guy.

And enjoying the sand.

(this picture is obviously from a different day, but figured I couldn't have a post about the sand park and then not post a picture of the sand!)

Done (I hope!)

All the medical records, insurance info and bills for Dane's delivery and our hospital stay.

Done figuring out that mess and so grateful for insurance.

(sorry for those of you seeing this in Jan 2011...this is clear back last Feb but I forgot to post it but want it for my blog book.)

Spring!

I know it's not spring yet, and I have nothing to complain about since I'm not in Utah shoveling snow, but I'm getting antsy for some nicer weather. These flowers were 3 bucks at the grocery store and have been on my table all week.

Best 3 bucks I've spent yet. I love fresh flowers!

Dane P's Headstone

Next to his cousin, Mila

Dane's headstone was put up. Thanks to my sister, Brooke, for sending me the pictures. I hope to get up to Cedar sometime soon to see it in real life. I think it turned out pretty good, don't you? They never told me when they were going to put it up but my Mom and Brooke have been checking up on him. So I think it was sometime between last Wednesday and Saturday. Since I'm feeling a bit dramatic, I choose to think it was on Friday the 12th. The day, if everything had gone as we planned, that we would have been having a scheduled c-section to have our baby boy.

Instead we got a headstone.

Isn't it too bad we can't plan our lives out. Every last detail.

Of course then life would be boring. It's life's ups that keep us going and life's downs that keep us pressing on.

Two weeks after Dane passed away I went to Relief Society, against Bracken telling me I should go home after Sacrament meeting and rest since I was still recovering, but I just wanted to go and he knew he couldn't stop me. I'm glad I did because we sang Lead, Kindly Light as the opening song. I have never really listened to the words of the song but I couldn't help but notice they were perfect for me, right then.

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;
Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou
Shouldst lead me on.
I loved to choose and see my path; but now,
Lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.

So long thy pow’r hath blest me, sure it still
Will lead me on
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!

-Lead, Kindly Light, Hymn # 97

The first sentence just seemed to be my life the two weeks before, 'Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom..' There are still days that I still just feel gloomy but when I think about all Heavenly Father has blessed me with and the experience of holding Dane, I do feel like there is His Light carrying me on.

Besides having lost a baby, I've also grieved over life not going as Bracken and I planned. It just seemed perfect, Hayes & Kamri were 21 months apart and I loved it. Kamri and Dane were going to be 21 months apart and now we don't even get to have him here. Why couldn't it just go like I had planned, 'I loved to choose and see my path; but now, Lead thou me on!' but I'm realizing (oh so slowly) that Heavenly Father does know what he's doing, he does love me, and I just need to sit back and realize how little I can really plan of what happens in my life. But oh how much HE cares for Me....for everyone. And even if life doesn't go how we planned it, we'll be better for it because it goes how He plans it.

The song ends 'And with the morn those angel faces smile, Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!' I've lost my baby Dane for now but I know I'll see his smile when I'm done here on earth.

Happy Valentines Day!

Saturday while Bracken was on a bike ride I got out the paints for the kids to paint him a Valentine. I was busy helping Kamri not get paint everywhere while Hayes was painting away and telling me he was painting a rose. I wasn't paying attention and just said "uhuh that's a good idea Hayes" or something like that....the next morning I looked at it closer and it really does look like a rose or at least a tulip! I love when unexpected things jump out to me.
and here is Kamri's painting. We'll say it's a colorful egg with a light pink bow on top? What do you think.

More updates are coming...just figured I'd get a little start tonight and hopefully get some more up tomorrow! :)

Curly Kamri

Just looking at her makes me smile!