Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope you all have a lot of good food and friends or family to share it with!!

I've felt a lot of gratitude lately but way too many emotions going on there so.....here is a short list of some of the things I'm grateful for.

I'm Thankful for:
Bracken's jokes, even the ones that aren't funny. His Strength and his LOVE.
Hayes' giggles and teasing.
Kamri's non stop smiles and dancing.
All who have helped care for my kids while I can't...especially my Mom.
Friends; those who live close & far away, who I talk to often or not often enough. Those I've known my whole life or just met this last week. You have all touched my life for good in some way.
Modern Medicine that has helped bring three beautiful babies into my life, and gave me five beautiful days with the last one.
Prayers and Priesthood Blessings that have gotten me through hard times and blessed me when I needed it most.
The Temple, The blessing of an eternal family has hit home even more this year and a chance to learn more about our Heavenly Father.

I'm Grateful for:
Hot Showers that somehow make you feel so much better even when your insides have been ripped open, your world turned upside-down and your body turned into an unidentifiable mush.
Fabric: that can be turned into so many things to uplift, cheer and comfort.
Chocolate Chip Cookies & Milk: even if they don't turn out perfectly, I still eat them. Lost of them. So I can be grateful for how delicious they are, until I'm 30 (hopefully 40) and they start adding to my hips.
Books: I love reading them to learn and for enjoyment but right now I mostly just love reading them to my kids.
Music: for all the usual reasons and because right now any music Kamri hears she just starts swinging those hips and bouncing!
Pictures: Good ones, bad ones, happy and sad ones. It's always great to be able to look back and remember the good times and be happy you're not there anymore for the bad.

Baby Dane's Funeral

Tuesday November 24 was Dane's Funeral. I will admit I was dreading the day. The eight days before were so emotionally tolling, I wasn't looking forward to another day filled with the reminders of our loss. In hindsight I realize, I also thought that holding my baby in my arms until he passed away would be a horrible experience. Although I wished it did not have to happen, it is the most peaceful and the closest to the spirit I have ever felt. In the same way, I wish I could have my baby in my arms today, instead of having a funeral but the day was filled with peace and love.

We had a short viewing and Bracken's brother Stock gave a wonderful family prayer. Then we went into the chapel for the funeral service. All of the talks were great and the music was beautiful. Although it was hard, I felt comforted through the whole program. The night after the funeral one of my leaders that taught me in church when I was 17 came by with a few poems she had written for us to remember Dane. She wrote one about the Funeral that I thought explained it well.

Farewell…Until the Eternal Tomorrow

Music “…together forever”
prepares our hearts,
our emotions---

Sweet prayer offered by Grandmother Ruth,
Tearful words of Aunt Brooke
Piano medley from Great-Grandmother Janice
sooth, comfort in saying farewell---
good-bye until another day.

Wise, peaceful words of Grandfather Dane
enhanced with song by the joined voices
of grandfather and great uncles.

All preparing for a courageous, loving father
to share his testimony, his counsel,
his grief.

A gentle bishop’s flowing tears
reach out to family and friends.
His testimony of hope, joy and peace
added to the father’s words
To help heal our tender hearts.

And paternal grandmother, Denise
ends in solemn, grateful prayer;
reminding again of our Father’s plan.

We leave this time of farewell,
of this memorial
with joy in our hearts ---

for the eternal tomorrow

by Charlotte Gentry Gwin

The hardest parts of the day for me were watching Bracken carry that tiny little casket in his arms and watching Bracken struggle with his emotions at the beginning of his talk. Since the Saturday night we went into the hospital to now, he has been with me through everything. He has been my rock and helped me get through all the pain and tears I have felt. Now I felt like I could support him in a tiny way. Speaking at Dane's funeral was a way of grieving for him, I'm grateful that he could share his testimony with all our family and friends. One moment that was so sweet for me that I'd like to share was that Hayes was so disappointed that he didn't get to say the closing prayer at the funeral that he was screaming (that wasn't the sweet part) so he wanted to give the prayer at the dedication. I was trying to explain to him why he couldn't and someone suggested that he say a pre-dedicatory prayer. I'm so grateful someone thought of that. Hayes was able to say a little prayer before Bracken dedicated the grave. He prayed thanks that Dane could be buried and thanks for the chairs. The simple prayer from Hayes made me smile.

The day was hard and emotionally draining but I am grateful for so many family members and friends that came to show their support, and so many others who have called, texted or e-mailed their thoughts and love. I have never felt so much love from others. It has helped me immensely through losing Dane. This has been the hardest time in my life, but through it all I have never felt the love of our Savior and our Heavenly Father so fully. I truly believe that we do not go through hard things in life because God is not caring, but because of the exact opposite. We need trials to help us grow, we need trials to help us reach out to one another, but ultimately we need trials to show us exactly how much we really do NEED our Heavenly Father. I have never felt God's hand in my life more fully then I have this past week and a half. I pray that I can live in a way that I'll be able to return to him and be able to see my baby Dane again.

Our sweet baby Dane.

Family picture at the viewing

At the dedication
Hayes giving his prededicatory prayer.

Trying to explain a few more things to Hayes

Saying Good-bye

He is next to his baby cousin, Mila.

I will miss you every day baby Dane, but I'm comforted to know I'll see you again someday.

Our Last Gift

I was able to make a baby blanket on Saturday & Sunday. We showered it with hugs and kisses to wrap baby Dane's body in. Our last chance on this earth to give him our love.

Families Are Forever

Dane P Longhurst was born at 9:22 a.m. on Sunday, November 15, 2009 at the Summerlin Hospital in Las Vegas, Nevada. At approximately 6:00 p.m. on November 19, 2009, after only four short days on this earth, Dane peacefully passed away in the arms of his loving mother. This is obviously difficult for us as his parents, but we have felt incredible strength in knowing the following truths:

First, Jesus Christ lives. That truth has been spoken an untold number of times by an untold number of people across the globe and through the centuries. The words alone, while powerful, pale in comparison to the testimony of that truth that burns warmly in our hearts. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a perfect life, suffered for each of our pains, sorrows, and sins, died on the cross at Calvary, and defeated death through his resurrection. Because he took upon himself life after death, Dane too will live again. The reality of Dane’s future and immortal life through Christ’s power is not a vain hope, a false tradition, nor a naïve belief; nor is Jesus Christ merely a legend, folklore, or influential historical figure. Jesus Christ is real and has all power necessary to fulfill God’s eternal plan.

Second, God established a perfect plan long before we came to Earth and the central purpose of that plan is our happiness. To obtain that perfect happiness that our Father wants us to enjoy, two things are required of us, 1) come to this earth and obtain a body, and 2) follow the Savior and fulfill his commandments. Baby Dane fulfilled both requirements and is now entitled to perfect happiness for the eternities. We can also obtain this perfect happiness together with our children if we will repent and become humble like our children. (Moroni 8:11). This promise is made possible by covenants we make in the temple.

Third, God will fulfill temple covenants. The sacred temple is a place where we make covenants with our Heavenly Father to do His will and He in return makes promises to us. One of the sweetest promises we receive in the temple is that families can be sealed together forever through eternal marriage. While worldly institutions have the power to marry “until death do you part,” God has given His power in the temple to marry for eternity. Because we have been sealed by the proper authority in the Holy Temple, we can live with Dane again. Having this promise is one of the many tender mercies that our Heavenly Father showers upon His children.

Fourth, God mercifully showers us with tender mercies to deliver us from our trials because He loves us perfectly. (1 Nephi 1:20). Words cannot express the tender mercies that God bestowed upon us in the few hours we had together with Dane. Those hours were so sweet and so perfect that every moment since has seemed to pull us back to the mortal realm. For a short time we felt higher than the mortal realm, we felt an immense peace, joy, happiness, and love. These feelings are the motivating forces that drive us forward in faith.

Finally, faith is a power that comes from spiritual actions and is felt deeply within our souls. We have made big and small decisions on a simple, yet profound feeling within our hearts, and the power of faith has grown within us. That simple feeling has come in answer to our prayers and the many others offered on our behalf. We are grateful for the prayers, thoughts, and support of so many people and their willingness to help.

Baby Dane's Obituary

Dane P Longhurst

Dane P Longhurst was born in Las Vegas, Nevada on Sunday, November 15, 2009 – 14 weeks early. Dane died four days later on Thursday, November 19, 2009, also in Las Vegas.

Dane is the son on Bracken H and Skye Leavitt Longhurst of Las Vegas. Grandparents are Paul and Denise Longhurst of Mendon, Utah; and Dane and Ruth Leavitt of Cedar City, Utah. In addition to his parents and grandparents, Dane is survived by his brother, Hayes, and sister Kamri.

Funeral services will be held on Tuesday, November 24th, at 11 a.m. in the Cedar City 2nd/8th Ward Chapel, 212 West 200 South in Cedar City, with interment to follow in the Cedar City Cemetery.

“Be Still, and Know that I am God.” (Psalms 46:10.)

More Pictures & an Update on Dane

I hope we'll have many more positive updates to put up in the months to come. It makes me sad thinking that Hayes & Kamri probably won't meet their sibling until he is a few months old...but I guess by then he will be the size of a normal baby so it won't seem that different to them. Anyway. I'm going to go to bed but I promised pictures and an update so here is part of an e-mail that Bracken sent out to our siblings tonight. He explains it alot better than I would have :)

"The doctors did tests today on Dane's brain, heart, and lungs. The brain had some bleeding as expected but the doctor said it was a "grade 1" which is the best it can be if there is bleeding. They are going to do the same tests on his brain in 2-3 days to see how it is progressing, i.e. if the blood is coagulating on its own or if it continues to bleed. Next to the result of absolutely no bleeding, this was the best we could have received. Having seen his head and hearing the doctors always focus on the bruising, I was very worried there would be severe bleeding and the doctors were just not giving their opinion until they new more (why freak out the parent before you know?). Either way, we are grateful for the results and will be praying until the next test (this will probably be the beginning of a long pattern...).

The test on the heart was similar, the next best thing to a perfect answer. The little flap thingy (how's that for scientific?) that normally closes on newborns when they arrive often does not close with premature babies. (Anyone who knows more about what I'm talking about is welcome to elaborate/clarify/or downright correct me. hint hint Kristin). Dane's flapper (not sure of the name) is doing just that: flapping. The doctor said that it was closing and then reopening over and over. They are going to give him 2-3 days to see if it finally decides to close on its own. If it doesn't then they will have to give him some medicine to help it along.

The lungs looked "pretty good." There was nothing worrisome about them but they still have to progress as normal. Also, they gave him a blood transfusion tonight. They told us first thing yesterday to not worry when we hear that because it would inevitably happen. With such small bodies, a little swing in blood count makes a big difference. They didn't seemed too worried about it, so I won't be either."

Thanks again for all the prayers and words of encouragement. Bracken and I have been truely blessed to have little Dane in our lives. We'll keep you all updated.

Our Newest & Earliest Addition

Dane P Longhurst

Born November 15, 2009
9:22am
2 lbs 6oz
14 in

We left the cord to connect the camera to the computer at home. I got this one off of Bracken's iphone but I'll post more tonight once we get the cord.

I'll write more later also but just wanted to at least post one picture and thank everyone for their calls, texts, support and prayers. I have felt those prayers and realize that the calmness I feel about the whole situation is because of all of you who have prayed for us or offered your help.

Long story short I started bleeding Saturday night at 8. went to labor and delivery around 9:30 and was told I was also having contractions that I couldn't feel. Started feeling those contractions around midnight. Had an ultrasound with a specialist at 3am. Given medicine to stop contractions and told I could go home by 5 if they stopped. The medicine only helped for about a half hour. Gave me a second dose and the same thing. After lots of pain, an epiostomy (sp?), and finally an emergency c-section, Dane was born at 9:22am.

I got to see Dane for the first time this morning. (24 hours after he was born) What a little miracle. He is so tiny but I can't believe how perfect his little body is. Right now all his stats are looking good. I'm told it is a rollercoaster ride but we're happy that right now he is doing well and hope we can make it through all the hills and valleys to come.

I didn't get to see him until 24 hours after he was born since I wasn't able to get out of bed. They brought me these footprints and Bracken took some pictures.

His preemie diaper compared to Kamri's.

Halloween

Sully from Monsters IncOur little witch Accident Victim and Boy Scout

We made the trek up to Logan on Friday and went to the annual Longhurst Halloween Party. As always, Denise & Paul did not disappoint! Lots of good food, candy and games. Each grandkid even had their own individual picture treasure hunt and of course there were some pretty sweet costumes!

Halloween night we went trick or treating around our old neighborhood. Talk about bittersweet...so much fun seeing our old neighbors and friends but sad to see the place we miss so much and we won't be moving back to! (well I guess unless the house never sells, but we're not hoping for that!)

The only pictures I took were of Kamri. I was trying to get one of her face but the hat I made was enormous and she wouldn't stand still. I didn't even take a picture of Hayes, how sad is that...he was busy running with his old friends from door to door though. Next year I'll remember to be better about taking pictures and maybe have a better costume too!