Baby Dane's Funeral

Tuesday November 24 was Dane's Funeral. I will admit I was dreading the day. The eight days before were so emotionally tolling, I wasn't looking forward to another day filled with the reminders of our loss. In hindsight I realize, I also thought that holding my baby in my arms until he passed away would be a horrible experience. Although I wished it did not have to happen, it is the most peaceful and the closest to the spirit I have ever felt. In the same way, I wish I could have my baby in my arms today, instead of having a funeral but the day was filled with peace and love.

We had a short viewing and Bracken's brother Stock gave a wonderful family prayer. Then we went into the chapel for the funeral service. All of the talks were great and the music was beautiful. Although it was hard, I felt comforted through the whole program. The night after the funeral one of my leaders that taught me in church when I was 17 came by with a few poems she had written for us to remember Dane. She wrote one about the Funeral that I thought explained it well.

Farewell…Until the Eternal Tomorrow

Music “…together forever”
prepares our hearts,
our emotions---

Sweet prayer offered by Grandmother Ruth,
Tearful words of Aunt Brooke
Piano medley from Great-Grandmother Janice
sooth, comfort in saying farewell---
good-bye until another day.

Wise, peaceful words of Grandfather Dane
enhanced with song by the joined voices
of grandfather and great uncles.

All preparing for a courageous, loving father
to share his testimony, his counsel,
his grief.

A gentle bishop’s flowing tears
reach out to family and friends.
His testimony of hope, joy and peace
added to the father’s words
To help heal our tender hearts.

And paternal grandmother, Denise
ends in solemn, grateful prayer;
reminding again of our Father’s plan.

We leave this time of farewell,
of this memorial
with joy in our hearts ---

for the eternal tomorrow

by Charlotte Gentry Gwin

The hardest parts of the day for me were watching Bracken carry that tiny little casket in his arms and watching Bracken struggle with his emotions at the beginning of his talk. Since the Saturday night we went into the hospital to now, he has been with me through everything. He has been my rock and helped me get through all the pain and tears I have felt. Now I felt like I could support him in a tiny way. Speaking at Dane's funeral was a way of grieving for him, I'm grateful that he could share his testimony with all our family and friends. One moment that was so sweet for me that I'd like to share was that Hayes was so disappointed that he didn't get to say the closing prayer at the funeral that he was screaming (that wasn't the sweet part) so he wanted to give the prayer at the dedication. I was trying to explain to him why he couldn't and someone suggested that he say a pre-dedicatory prayer. I'm so grateful someone thought of that. Hayes was able to say a little prayer before Bracken dedicated the grave. He prayed thanks that Dane could be buried and thanks for the chairs. The simple prayer from Hayes made me smile.

The day was hard and emotionally draining but I am grateful for so many family members and friends that came to show their support, and so many others who have called, texted or e-mailed their thoughts and love. I have never felt so much love from others. It has helped me immensely through losing Dane. This has been the hardest time in my life, but through it all I have never felt the love of our Savior and our Heavenly Father so fully. I truly believe that we do not go through hard things in life because God is not caring, but because of the exact opposite. We need trials to help us grow, we need trials to help us reach out to one another, but ultimately we need trials to show us exactly how much we really do NEED our Heavenly Father. I have never felt God's hand in my life more fully then I have this past week and a half. I pray that I can live in a way that I'll be able to return to him and be able to see my baby Dane again.

Our sweet baby Dane.

Family picture at the viewing

At the dedication
Hayes giving his prededicatory prayer.

Trying to explain a few more things to Hayes

Saying Good-bye

He is next to his baby cousin, Mila.

I will miss you every day baby Dane, but I'm comforted to know I'll see you again someday.